Life is a beautiful struggle

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum.

They said a true friend is someone who never gets tired of listening to your pointless dramas over and over again.

To me, there's no such thing. People do get tired to listen to your problems like they have none. Trust me, there's nobody in this world would stand on listening to your problems all the time but Allah do have time to listen to them (problems). Allah indeed a good listener.

Anyway, why am I saying all those things? Because I feel so blessed! Though life is so full of thorns but I do feel happy all the time. Okay, maybe not all the time but Alhamdulillah, I still can smile in the middle of sadness. It's a good thing right?

I'm so grateful to have my family and my friends whose not give up on me. I'm not telling them my pointless drama but my attitude somehow makes them annoyed. I noticed that and I'm going to change for better if they ask me to.

Mom gets busy this month and for the following month. I honestly feel lack of concern from her because normally, every week she will ask me my progression on study, about my life in campus, my friends and how am I doing whether I'm okay or not, is my money enough or not, she always remind me to pray and so much concern that she gave. I miss that but I'm trying to be an understanding daughter which I have to in a way to support her spiritually.

Never thought that when she's busy, she still have time to plan something for me! It's nothing big but I liked it. I like the way she still think about me when she has a lot to do. Ahh, mom makes me into tears. Thank you Allah for the gift.

May all of us be blessed.

click, click, click! ;)

Nothing.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum.

love is when you ready to get hurt

Rushing. Sekarang ni minggu exam. Assignment tak siap lagi, report kitchen tak print lagi, revision tak start lagi. Gulp. Entah apa yang buat aku rushing pun aku tak tahu.

Untung cuma ada 2 paper je untuk exam ni, kalau tak memang tercungap-cungap jugaklah nak kejar satu-satu.

Aku tak tahu kenapa dalam ke'busy'an ni aku terasa nak update blog. Nak kata bersawang tak sangat kot, nak kata ada benda menarik nak share pun tak juga. Dah tu apa pekdahnye aku berada di sini?

*Angkat bahu*

long way to go

Backspace segala benda yang aku taip tadi. Rasanya tak wajar nak share kat sini. Hukhuk.

Wish me luck in the exam. I'll struggle to get what I dream for and will make my parents proud.

By the way, Happy New Year all! Hope this is not too late. Hehee

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Goodbye days

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum.

Do you remember? That you once have tie my shoes? And do you realize that I was stunned at that moment? I miss you. I miss the time we spent together. I miss everything about you. Sometimes I see you in front of me but then I realized that it was my only imagination. I miss you so bad. Do you ever know that? I guess you don't.

Do you think I am selfish when I say I move on because you forget me so easily? Do you say I am ungrateful because I choose to move on cause you take me for granted? Or do you jump to conclusion that I am moving on because I am alone and desperately want to be in a relationship?

I am sorry. I truly am sorry for everything I did to you. The annoying me always makes it hard for you, am I right? That's why you keep the distance. I understand. Now let me live in peace without your presence.

I do in love. I just don't know whether I deserve it or not. I just don't know. All I know is I should have say thank you to that certain person who put a smile on my face when I nearly forgot how to.

am in ♥ with you.

click, click, click! ;)

Done!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum.

Tend to do all assignments as soon as I get them but I end up doing it at the very last minute. Good job girl. Thank God you may sleep now and have a sweet dream though you might not in this short period of time.

click, click, click! ;)

Belum pulih

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum.

"Ehem, maaf. Tolong senyap sikit boleh tak? Tak pun pergi settle kat tempat lain ke..."

Teringat peristiwa yang pertama kali berlaku dalam hidup aku. Bergaduh besar dengan teman sebilik, sebantal, sekatil. Waktu makan kami selalu duduk sama-sama. Berkongsi apa yang kami ada, dari lauk hingga pelbagai cerita tentang kehidupan. Kebiasaannya, aku lebih suka mendengar perbualan mereka. Sesekali tu ada jugalah aku mencelah memberi pendapat tapi memang kebiasaanya aku lebih senyap dan memasang telinga. Aku lebih selesa macam tu.

Ahh tapi semua tu dulu. Lepas dari bergaduh besar tu, aku jadi tawar hati untuk kembali menjadi seperti apa yang pernah kami jadi sebelum ni. Bukan aku tak memaafkan tapi sukar untuk aku lupakan apa yang dah jadi. Kadang-kadang aku rasa bersalah sangat sebab bersikap macam ni. Dia cuba untuk berbaik semula namun kekerasan hati aku mengatasi niat baik dia. Aku rasa tak berbaloi untuk kami rapat macam dulu.

Entah kenapa. Mungkin perasaan takut membelenggu. Takut apa yang terjadi tu berulang kembali. Semua tu macam mimpi. Mimpi yang sangat ngeri untuk aku ulang tayang balik. Bukan aku tak sayang tapi pada aku sayang tu perlukan kepercayaan. Aku tahu dan aku cukup sedar yang kesalahan bukan terletak pada dia je. Aku juga bersalah. Ye, aku mengaku. Aku bertindak diluar kawalan malam tu. Kata-kata aku, perbuatan aku dan tindak balas aku memang diluar jangkaan. Mungkin sebab dah lama bersabar.

Aku bukan orang yang naik angin sewenangnya tapi bila aku dah start, it leads to nowhere. Dan bila aku membenci, aku benci semahunya.

Betul, niat dihati aku mahu berkawan kembali tapi tidak mungkin serapat dulu. Namun entah kenapa sukar untuk menurut kata hati. Mungkin hati ni belum pulih sepenuhnya.

notakaki: kenapa kau selalu pentingkan diri kau? kau rasa hati kau akan pulih kalau kau tak benar benar memaafkan? jangan berlagak bagus, Balqis!

click, click, click ;)